She Would Cry

This holiday season has been a tearful one. I find myself crying at any moment. Happy times. Sad times. Lonely time. Times when I hear a traditional Christmas song sung perfectly. I wonder if this comes with age.

Mom would cry. I would be perplexed when she cried when it was a happy time. Momma, it's a happy time, don't cry.

Now I know. We cry for Christmas past. Memories that come back with emotion. Those that are not with us that were such a big part of our lives. Gone. Relationships that are hurting, seemingly never to be repaired. Families that were torn apart because of some vice. All these can't be fixed by us, but God longs for us to be filled to overflowing with joy and with God all things are possible. We can't be filled with joy apart from His grace for joy comes from Him!

In my fallen state I cannot be without tears. I know someday we all will stand with Jesus and it all will be right! No more tears, that is a promise. No more tears!! Imagine a life without such heartache. I can't but I do have hope.

Merry Christmas! Such a shallow word in today's fallen state....".merry". It is hard to have for so many. Blessed Christmas! A much better greeting for it calls on God for all that is wonderful. God blesses us with joy! "Joy unspeakable."

Here's pictures from our 2019 joyful get together.

Trumpeter Granddaughter

Yesterday we went to watch our granddaughter Reese's concert. It brought back memories from the times we went to watch our own children at their school events. I found it to be a happy evening even if it was crowded with people I don't know. Being with my family was a blessing.

The first concert was for a younger bunch than our granddaughter and I found it to be so funny that the "Christmas" program had nothing to do with the season but was about being green --- recycling. Ok! Well the choir looked like they were having fun. I missed the songs from my children's youth.... hurry santa, jingle bells, all I want for Christmas is  my two front teeth; or the music from my youth Silent Night, T'waz the night before Christmas, Frosty the Snowman... sigh. I know things change but do they have to?

Christmas 2019

Every year Christmas is different. Every year. This year my brother Toby and his son Caleb died, two weeks apart. Caleb died, we joined my brother and his wife as they remembered their youngest son...taken much too soon. Two weeks later my brother dies in an unfortunate steam bath accident. This year my husband Doug's dad John also passed away. We suspected he was soon to leave this earth so we flew out to Florida to see him. Two days later he passed away. We take comfort in knowing he knew Doug and I were there even if he could get up and greet us in his usual hugging way. Things change. Our connections grow smaller if we do not work at being a friend to others. Jesus called us friends. I love Jesus. I love that He was willing to die to make a way to be with Him in heaven forever if we will just believe. How simple is that? His ways never change.

When we lose those that we love, the season can be hard of our heart. It is on mine. I find myself tearful just at the sound of old Christmas songs. Silent Night. My dad used to have my husband and I sing it in harmony. Sometimes if we didn't start out right he would say, "Wait, wait... start again." I miss my Dad and my Mom. Dad brought stability to the family and I miss that about him. He was a believer in God's plan for salvation so I know I will see him again when God restores all of us and creation to the perfectness He had created the whold world before our enemy Satan tempted Adam in the Garden of Eden. I believer and if you do you will also be saved from the wretched hell that is the destiny of Satan and the angels that followed him out of heaven. We all have a choice. I hope you make the right one.

Connie

Vera

Kathy, Connie

Fall 2018

Seems like 2018 was just booming in. We live in the fireworks area so on NY's and July 4th we hear a lot of fireworks. It's not too bad as long as it does not go on for days and days. I suppose if I was Gorilla Fireworks I would say differently!

We did a lot of work on the property this summer and I love it. Cleared a lot of trees down with the help of a good friend! The trees had grown so much that we could not see the lake. Now, it is there again and I love it. I also have been doing a lot of burning of fallen trees. Every summer we have an ongoing war with carpenter ants, a bad thing if you live in a log home! So pulling fallen trees out and burning them makes me feel like we have made their lives a bit more challenged! Yay!

The swans are passing through here in the Valley so I thought I would post a few swan pictures. I was not a threat to them as I pulled trees out of the woods and burned them because they soon were standing lakeside preening themselves. Now if he could Mo would have been a threat for he wanted all the treats I was tossing out to the swans for himself!

Long Weekend Is Over (already)!

We will go home tomorrow. My son Klint's children need to get back to school but we plan to head up here one more time before the moose hunting season closes. Doug will combine his cardio walk with moose hunting at home.

I can't add photos from our time here in Clear for I don't see an upload option while using my phone.  I can't post at all from my browser of choice Duckduckgo! Blogger only works from my phone with Safari. That doesn't endear me to Apple at all! Apple censors. 😡

We had some great times here this long Labor Day weekend.

Well then! IF I use safari...

Rain blast from the past! Our older grandchildren from another rainy camping trip! Such sweet faces!

Rainy

We got to Clear in a downpour. It appears that I will not be able to post photos away from a wifi connection. I am happy for the connection that I do have way out here. It was upgraded to accomodate the road crew a few years back! Before that it was nearly impossible to send even texts! We had to get on our four wheelers and find a more receptive area.

I walked around camp yesterday and saw moose sign and some other sign, possibly porquepine.

I had a good quiet time this morning. I woke up reciting the Lord's prayer. Our Father which art... who art? So I got up to read my Bible. Those two words are very different. Which or who. So went to Matthew 5. Jesus teachings are so very deep, so very simple at the same time! The prayer in Matthew is "Our Father in heaven"... I was reciting a memorized prayer I believe from the Russian Orthodox prayer book. (I wish I had one of those little prayer books we had from RO sunday school.) My parents Senafont and Vera Shugak hosted the youth in their house when I was little.. Drip

Drip. Drip. Drip!!

Moose Hunt Trip 2019

uh-oh!

Moose Hunting 2019

I'm planning to share stories and photos from our trip to Clear. Our son Klint and his family will join us. Yay! Hoping to find a legal young bull! The best meat for us right now.

I'm newly diagnosed Diabetes Type II with non-alcoholic fatty liver disease which I've been told goes hand in hand with sugar problems. My husband also has liver problems and because of a massive heart attack in 2013 watches his cholesterol like a hawk! His doctor took him off of statins (yes!) So just for those two reasons any small amount of meat we eat has been doctor advised to be wild game or fish!

So here moosie, moosie. I mostly love the last of summer outdoors. The migrating birds. The change of the colors. My family being near!

May God grant safety and success to all 2018 hunters. We also remember and pray for families who live now without family members lost during hunting.

Where Am I Now?

I can more easily answer that question with where I am not right now.
I am not on Facebook!
I am not on Instagram!

Why? I was troubles by the stories coming out about the owners of those social media selling my personal information for their own personal monetary gain. They are not the only two doing that either. Another reason is how they are censoring the conservative and religious folks, that's me! So, I Twitter and many conservatives tweeted that they were leaving FB and I decided it was something I wanted to support and do also.  I am now sharing on Mewe.com.

Mewe has been very, very laid back since I joined there in the early spring this year. It is still very quiet. I don't know how mewe will pay for itself for it does not take ads and right now they are pushing for upgrading from the free mewe to paid for upgrades which I have not had a need for yet. I think maybe it will be more gb space for all my photos and sharing.But I know that most internet users do not like to pay for their online activities so I don't know if mewe will last. Mewe also has an App to mobile post.

Right now, I am thinking I will return to the blogging world.... but it is owned by google which is another like FB. :(

Since I have been off of facebook and instagram I have had no instant interaction with people I know so I am like set back years in being in the know. At first not seeing the latest pictures, notes, news and all the silly faces there I really missed it all! It was like going through withdrawals from coffee. But now I am in a good place with it all. I can share with my family and friends on texting and also email for bigger stuff. So yes, it seems like I have been set behind years and years!

Get a Mewe account, add me and check out my mewe:
My Mewe Page

Our Father

"Our Father who art in Heaven
hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven
give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us
lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil."

Matthew 6:9-13

I have been praying The Lord's Prayer throughout the 2016 election cycle and most every day since Trump was elected. So thankful he was elected even after much lies, media news story twisting, These days are certainly not the days of my early marriage when it seemed all was good and I had only to think about preparing a home for my family and feeding them each day what was best for them.  (Except for the times I turned my head away - Halloween, Christmas, Easter and their birthdays!!!) But that isn't true because now, if I read back on those dates this world never knew peace. It will never know peace until God sets up His kingdom on earth. That day can't come fast enough with all the horrid news lately. Our enemy Satan knows his time is very short before earth will see the will of God accomplished - Satan thrown down to the bottomless pit! He won't be on earth for 1,000 years! "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven."  Read it all in the Bible.

My comfort is God's word. His promises are from everlasting to everlasting. This time on earth now is but a vapor. My prayers and tears go out to Christian's and their families everywhere who are being persecuted and killed. God sees. God does not forget. God says "Vengeance is mine, I will repay."

Keep looking to Jesus.
Occupy yourselves and keep watching and praying for His soon return.

 Picture: My oldest brother, Mom, me and my sister Millie. Way back in the day - they did not have peace then either.

Old Things

I have been thinking about old things.

My husband took me to Seattle, Washington for my birthday! No, I am not thinking about me being old! :)  For this post I am remembering walking through antique stores. I look around me now here at home and through the years items in my home have become antiques! I see some of the same or similar things that I had or still have sitting on antique store shelves. Doug has even older stuff because he keeps things just in case he needs it someday.

This morning Doug said that he had to go change his socks "because this pair has some holes it them." I told him "Well then, just throw them out!" He says, "But I can still get a few more wears out of them."  Today he has a doctors appointment and I guess that merits socks without holes. Isn't he funny? Yes, he is.

Anyway, back to old things. My twin daughters enjoy old things. They want them in their homes and they want to re..... re....... hmm. Can't remember what they call making "new" things out of things that are old. They'll use old tools for bookends; make garden decorations out of old kitchen utensils; or they like to see them sitting around just so - gathering dust. That's what I say, "It's just a dust collector, it's just something you'll have to dust."

But one day in someones past those items were new. One day in the past those items were precious to someone. One day in the past those items were treasured, dusted and kept away from others that could misuse or abuse them.

Now... there they sit.

I thought to myself: No family to take them and treasure them? No family to make them a family heirloom? Now it is just a thing that has been bought by the highest bidder and put in an antique store so that I can go look at them.

Kind of a sad thought isn't it? But that thought makes me put "things" in focus. Nothing, nothing on this earth will last long enough to enjoy in eternity. Items we treasure after we die will probably not be treasured by our offspring, or at least not forever. What's even more sobering to me are the many hundreds of photographs from the past, beautiful people, babies, houses, boats, on and on - photos that have been forgotten and now sit in a basket in a dark corner of an antique store.

Let's keep living focused on eternity. Learn what eternity's values are. What will last forever? Focus on God.

King Solomon's thoughts from Ecclesiastes:
"So I said in my heart, "As it happens to the fool, it also happens to me, and why was I then more wise?" Then I said in my heart, "This is also vanity." For there is no more remembrance of the wise than of the fool forever, since all that now is will be forgotten in the days to come. And how does a wise man die? As the fool!" Ecclesiastes 2:15,16.

PHOTOS:
Top:An old ball and chain!!!  :D
Middle: Old bottles.
Bottom: My daughter :)
I love you daughter!

My "Sons of Thunder" UPDATED

 UPDATE:The story of my sons experiences on the Iron Dog trail have been posted at their Sons of Thunder Facebook page.  It was an exciting week not only for them but for us that watched it via Irondog.com's GPS connection. Many mishaps along the way due to the trail having so little snow and in many places no snow at all! Skipping their sleds across open water and in Golovin Bay they suddenly found themselves in open sea water with land in the far distance. You may enjoy reading their story which was also shared in our local newspaper and included here for your convenience: The Mat-Su Frontiersman, The Bond of Brothers Endures Toughest Iron Dog Race in Event's History.   Bravo to my sons Klint and Kris who are no longer Iron Dog Rookies since they persevered and finished the race and are now Iron Dog Veterans!

~~~~~~       ~~~~~~~~     ~~~~~~~~

 My sons Klint and Kris are preparing to race in the Iron Dog Snowmobile Race. They have been riding their machines for long distances whenever they can get away from the responsibilities of work and families that tie many of us down everyday. Young couples with young families are especially too busy so getting away is not as often as they would like to. The guys say that they will be happy to just finish the race as the competition in this race is very stiff with many veteran teams that will be on the trail a head of them. Personally, I have no desire to run the 2031 miles strenuous, fast and as they say "the longest, toughest snowmobile race" and neither does my husband even if I have to say so for him. :P  We could do a funny video of how not to win the Iron Dog... ha! (nah!!!!)

  I am hoping to see a lot of photos from the trail (no time for pictures from the trail Mom.) and get reports to share about how and where they are (good luck).  Irondog.org will be equipping all the sleds with GPS tracking gadgets so keeping track of them during the run will be hard not to keep watching! I watched my son Klint for the 2014 Iron Dog Trail Class and found that I can become very irritated if the gadgets don't do what they are supposed to do. :-\ This year there seems to be more confidence in what will be attached to the machines. Hope. Hope.

 Like and Follow my sons on their Iron Dog Team #49 Sons of Thunder facebook page.

The following photos of my sons and their proud Dad were taken by Marie Aaberg, my daughter. 

Feeling Better

Christmas is laying all over my living room rug. That is how far I got even with help from Doug. I have been having a weird sickness. No fever. No runny nose. Just extremely weak and tired. Not sick and tired, just weak and tired. Anyway, today I feel better.

It is cold today; minus temps and according to our weather forecast it will be for the next week. It is good for freezing up the open water but does it have to be that cold? This morning the sky is a rosy pink with a purple-ish blue on the horizon. It always seems to look that way when it is cold.

By the time I figured out iCloud and got this picture of Sleeping Lady taken, all the rosy and blues were gone and all I had left was and is the cold! Brrrrr!

Back to cleaning. And I am thankful today that I feel so good. Thank You Jesus!

"...abounding in thanksgiving." Colossians 2:7

Holidays are Over!

Holidays are over and here it is 2015!

My new years resolution... haha. If anyone ever does these things anymore...
I plan to kiss Doug on his lips every day! He is happy about this resolution and I think I might be able to do this. hehe.  We will see.

Thanksgiving, my family and I made reservations at Cattle Co. for dinner. I was not that impressed. The turkey fixings were not outstanding but there was turkey. Nothing beats home cooked for sure!  But the absence of piles of dishes and aching feet was totally enjoyed with the loving hugs and fun of family around.

Christmas we all got together on Christmas Eve and enjoyed each other. We ate chili soup, played games then opened gifts. It was such a nice time together and the very happy point of the celebration was that our oldest granddaughter was with us.

Divorce is an ugly wound in families and her absence was a result of all the wrongs and hurts that come out of a very caustic separation and divorce. This Christmas I had hope that my dear grandchildren will be climbing out of all this mess to try and proceed on with their own lives, their own ideas of what they want and don't want in their every day's.

I want to get back into blogging.  The constant mind control of an aging Mom and her needs are not here anymore for filling my thoughts away from blogging. So I find myself thinking about what I would like to share.

God has been faithful.

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
“The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.” Lamentations 3:22-24 (ESV)

Waiting For Snow

We have been enjoying such warm weather and I am thankful but I think we need some snow. For the plants, for the snowmachine plans my sons have (running in the Irondog Sled race).
I have just turned on my computer after a very long time! I just pick up my iphone or mini ipad and check the world through those easy to access gadgets but the computer shows so much more and here I am on my blog checking it out. It definitely needs to be updated so maybe today....

Summer 2014

We have had some nice weather and it was too dry but then we had rain and now we have partly sunny skies so we have had a pretty nice summer so far.

We drove up to north for the Nenana Gospel Music Fest which Doug participated in with a group that is now called True North. It was very hot there and with that comes many big bugs! Yeck! The day we came home we had 93 degrees fahrenheit. I had to write that out because I forgot how to do the alt+number to get the degree sign. (If you don't use it---it gets lost somewhere up in that dark cavity.) Anyway, summer is going here in Alaska.

Our garden is producing radishes but nothing else! What's up with that? grrrr. 

My little dog was lost... but now he is found. :-)  Oh boy. That is such a troubling time when some little critter that you love is lost!!!  He is so small I can imaging all sorts of horrid things happening to him. Foxes. Eagles. Other big dogs. Wolves. Bears. Big mosquitoes sucking him to death! Yes, I have a wild and vivid imagination and most of the time it causes grief... not only for me but for the ones I love. :-P

I hope your summer, or winter is going well so far.

Checking Out the New Designs

I think it is time for a change, so I will be trying some different layouts. Looks like fun.

My Momma

I am thinking that I probably won't ever stop thinking about my Mom and her life.  At this point she has been filling my thoughts a lot.

Mom passed away on May 18th, 2014. Losing her is still too fresh to me to forget --- on a daily basis.  I knew that we were in her last days and it was Sunday morning. If it were totally up to me I would have went to sit with her instead of getting ready to go to church that morning. No one knows how long one will linger in the last days of life so that morning I slowly got up and began to get ready for church knowing that after service I would be going directly to her side where I knew I would find my sister Kotya too.

Mom had been having trouble breathing that week. She would grab a fistful of her skin on her thigh and pinch-squeeze.  That concerned us. I will never know why she did that because in mom's last to at least six or more months she had lost her voice and could not communicate vocally. I had thought of trying to teach her sign language but even that seemed a hard task to attempt. Mom had been diagnosed with dementia. After all the years rubbing elbows with the elderly in different hospitals and assisted home settings since I have been Mom's main support I have come to believe that we all, or many of us, will travel that same forgetting road.  It is a rotting world we live in and even the mind will succumb to disease along side the organs and limbs when we also grow old.

Writing is very therapeutic to me.

I used to write a lot here on blogger.com before my life was filled with Mom. She came to us one day after she had left the house her family had built for her. She left one summer day because of my alcoholic brother.
Unless you know the history of Mom's health (which even I at that point was not aware of) you wouldn't realize the feat of wonder it was for her to walk at least two miles to a small country store where she sat down with her old dog Odessa. She said that Odessa had told her that it was time to leave their home after my brother had threatened to hurt them both. (He was drunk.)  So Mom and Odessa walked away.  That day, via the local police and my sister Mom eventually came to me and Odessa was taken to the dog pound.   "She was pretty old," Mom said. "Odessa needed to rest now," she said.

In the first year that I began to help Mom with her life I learned that she had recovered from five strokes all by herself. I can remember how tired she used to be. When I was told that I could understand because I know others that have been hospitalized for one stroke, Mom had five.

I will write more another day.

I love and miss you so much Momma.

Mom was 83

It Was A Nice Thanksgiving

We enjoyed our day. I was busy all day preparing food and doing last minute clean ups. I always wonder how our house gets messy because we don't have any more kids at home! That Doug!! :-D

I hope you all had a great day too.