Monday, November 14, 2005

The "Twinz"

I received an email from a friend this morning, it brought me back all the way to a heavy milestone in our family's life. If I had to try to swim (I can't anyway) with that around my neck, I would surely have drowned. It was a difficult time for me as Mom and the rest of the family too. It opened a long chapter in our lives.

The milestone I am talking about is the horrible day we took our twins, Marie and Karla to the airport to leave for Bible school. Don't laugh. It was hard for me!

Until that point we had never been separated. I thought of them returning during Christmas break but decided that was so far off and it was no comfort to me. I was positive I would not survive the separation until then.

No one told me that my babies were going to grow up and want to leave!

If you are a young parent right now, let me warn you ----that sweet little one who is clinging to you now will one day decide to leave and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it but wave good bye!

"When I left home at 19 to come to Oregon, my parents and two sisters took me to the airport. "The ride home was really quiet," my sister told me later. "Even Dad had tears in his eyes."

Why in the world, I wondered at the time, would anyone would be sad, let alone shedding tears, at my going away? Kids are meant to leave home someday, after all, and my parents' lives would be easier and quieter without me. Life was all future, then. The present was endurance and impatience; what mattered was the next door to open, the next adventure." ~Dorcas Smucker, The Register-Guard.

I had more than tears in my eyes in the days that followed. I cried. I bawled. I had no shame. I begged their Dad to bring them back sooner than they were supposed to come home. "For just a short visit, please!" Even he was surprised at the reaction I was having to this new way of life.

I knew for a long time they would be leaving. I had even helped them pack. When the actual time came, I fell apart.

Having five babies, this was just the start of these kids growing ... out!

A new baby brings change into our lives and they are such a big adjustment. But when your baby decides to leave, it is so hard. Being a MOM, was my career! All I ever heard from experienced parents?

"All our kids are gone and it's so nice!"

So where is the "nice" I thought, when does "nice" begin?

All I could see was they were not there at the table with us for dinner. Their places were empty in the van when we drove to church. They were GONE!

The rest of the family adjusted too. Kim had the whole basement bedroom to herself. She had the downstairs bathroom, no more fighting for mirror space.

I think our youngest son had the greatest adjustment to make when his siblings all began to leave. God bless the kid that is eventually left home alone with dear ol' Mom and Dad.

With each change after that, the death grip on my kids was easier to loosen. Just because, I learned that there is no place like home, and they WILL come back....bringing gifts even! Our babies are bringing home babies and it's all good.

I am an experienced Mom now and it is....nice.

Check out Dorcas Smucker's Newsletter. It's good reading. She also blogs! Life in a Shoe.


Kerri said...

I can only imagine how hard it must have been. But it must be nice to know now that you've done your best to bring them up to be happy, responsible, God-loving adults!

akeskileut said...

Aaaw..hugs to you!
I remember I had to adjust too when my girls all got married within a year.M had to point it out to me..hehe!