"cabin fever"

It's been a learning experience for me looking out for Mom. She could not live out her days alone because of her weakness and disorientation. There were the little things she did or didn't do that made it hard to let her be alone at her house. Then she had a stroke.

This morning I read an email from her caregiver. She needs the Medicaid medical/insurance paperwork done and approved to allow her transportation from assisted living to the senior center because she is experiencing "cabin fever."

Made me smile because she never seemed to allow such feelings to overwhelm her and expected the same from us girls. No "cabin fever", no sadness on dark, gloomy days but we should "overcome evil with good."

Now she cries at a drop of a hat.

I hope your transportation is approved soon Mom!

Wow!

2011 is almost history. So many things in our lives are not good but if you decide to take your eyes off of those then you can see the good better. In 2011 I got to spend a lot more time with Kim and her kids! That has been a blessing. We flew out to visit Karla and her family in Oregon. I love knowing exactly where they are when she writes about their goings on. Mom is stronger than she was at this time last year. I have a new computer with working USB's and I have updated my iPhone for the first time since I bought it (like two years ago! ha). It's time to upgrade to iPhone 4s! We have a new grand baby on the way (Klint & Calli)!! (Coming in March.) Just a few things I am thankful for today. Hope you all had a very pleasant Christmas. We did.

Psalm 98

This psalm opened my eyes to rejoicing about the future of all peoples when God will rule completely, and totally just!

Having come through dealing with the "justice" in divorce court I realized the very inadequate system that everyone encounters when thrown into dealing with lawyers and judges. I learned that you will get just as much justice as you can pay for and nothing more.

It will be a grand day that even creation will rejoice over when the evil one is cast out of our lives and our world functions as it was created to - in full communion with God Who created us! I am looking forward to that!!

Fire

Must be a bonfire coming up in my future. :-)

Never, Ever, Even in all of Forever!

It's a choice to be happy so I am choosing to be!

We have come through a tough year with our daughter getting divorced. She had been married for almost 14 years when her husband walked out saying that divorce was his only option. or something like that. We didn't agree with him at the time, but after many eye opening circumstances it's like we all got on a train headed for destruction, and their failed marriage was the proof.

Still, God cares and loves us - through thick and thin. That is our consolation when our hearts feel as though they are being crushed. Knowledge that this world is not the end - there is yet forever to look forward to - that truth makes me happy, does it make you happy too?

We never were exposed to the judicial system of lawyers and judges (other than the one time my juvenile daughter sued to get her savings returned after buying a lame horse sold as a sound horse, we won BTW.) and so I think we probably didn't realize or do things to the best advantage of - not our daughter or her ex... but our dear grandchildren. I conscientiously have to believe that God will "work all things out for their good"... maybe not so much in this life but in forever especially, yes. I pray that He will protect them from the continuing hurts and failures the evil one has planned for their lives, and our family's, and even my daughters ex.

Divorce feels like there was a death in the family. I don't like it. It makes me sad when I think about how things could have been IF...

Pray for the children in all of our worlds that have to live with the effects of this scourge called divorce. There are too many. Pray that we as the adults in their lives will help them to seek God first "in all things" for He never, ever, even in all of forever will change! That truth should grow to be precious to many children who have endured such a drastic change in their daily lives.

"For what is our hope, or joy, or crown of rejoicing? Is it not even you in the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ at His coming? For you are our glory and joy." I Thessalonians 2:19, 20.

Tried to upload a cool video of geese flying away from Alaska. Don't think it worked. Is blogger having problems with their video stuff? >:-\

Oh It's Blogging Time Again

Lately my husband Doug and I have been listening to two speakers in the mornings that have been beneficial to us spiritually, Chip Ingram and Alistair Begg. Today Alistair's message was on the young man that Jesus raised from the dead when He had compassion on his Momma.

Made me think about my Mom and my youngest brother that passed away almost a year ago (July 28, 2010). My youngest brother with the alcohol addiction. My young brother that cried many times saying he has tried to quit drinking, and he'd call and ask me or Doug to please pray with him. So many times it seemed he was on the path to completely putting that behind him but always ended up back into it. He died drunk.

This morning I cried for him, my youngest brother. I cried because I've always been told there will be no drunkards in heaven, in God's new creation. There won't be that awful addiction... to alcohol or to anything we struggle with on earth. No addiction to alcohol, to nicotine, to food, to anger, to sexual perversion. All these are tools of the evil one and he won't be in God's new creation! I am thankful for the day that is coming we won't have to watch ourselves and our loved ones with this struggle.

Life here on earth now is so much better without alcohol addiction, I pray that if you struggle with this problem or any other addiction problem you will be able to seek help to avoid it, and then to fill the emptiness with something else of much more value. I believe we can relearn to walk in paths that help us avoid addictions. The ultimate path is determining to know God. He is a faithful and compassionate friend.

"I'm Peculiar"

This morning I was reading the Daily Bread, something I have not been keeping up with. I was flipping back and reading past devotionals. The past year I have been doing daily readings out of "The One Year NIV Devotional New Testament," foreword by Alistair Begg. Doug and I also listen to and support Pastor Begg online.

Some of you know that since 2008 my Mom had become a daily part of my day, and recently has moved into assisted living needing daily care and shouldn't be left alone. The day she abruptly moved into my life was when one of my sisters called me to inform me that the Alaska State Troopers had picked up Mom at a small convenience store near her place (2 miles). The store keeper had called to report an elderly woman sitting out on their porch for several hours. Mom had slowly walked there with Odessa, their old family dog. Later Mom would tell me that Odessa had told her, "It's time for us to leave." I asked her why and she said Odessa told her that my brother might just kill them both so they needed to leave right then. So began my adventure with Mom. Never knowing if what she talked about was a true story, or if she had dreamed it.

She came to live with us that day. We could not send her back to live with my drunken brother if he had made threats to her and their ol' dogs well-being. (The day the troopers picked up Mom they took Odessa to the dog pound, she was so old.) My brother seemed to be out of hand with his drunkenness and needed help. In 2008 I felt I had my hands full adjusting to Mom living with us so felt I could not help my brother too. Mom and I were not close in the previous years. She had always made her life with my brother, and two of my sisters. They all seemed a family unit that my own family did not fit in with, but that's another story. Mom stayed with us a year, then she visited with other family members and finally made her way back "home" with my youngest brother where she was when he died in July.

One day we picked her up from the airport so that she could go to a family wedding. Mom ended up being angry and frustrated and didn't want to be there anymore so I walked her to the car. She wanted to wait there rather than be with everyone. She felt that she had been snubbed by one of our family. She said, "Because I am different, I am peculiar and people are embarrassed of me." She cried.

Just recently I brought Mom to the clinic, I saw an aloofness towards Mom from a young girl sitting in the lobby. That has stuck in my mind and it came back to me this morning while I read the Daily Bread. I don't see any reason for that and figured she must have been someones crabby little teenager.

Doug had wheeled Mom in her wheelchair into the lobby then Mom and I sat down to wait for her to be called while Doug went to run errands. The wind was howling that day and every time the door opened the cold wind made me shiver. I worried that Mom was cold even though she always says she isn't when I ask. I got up anyway and moved her. I tried to smile at this young lady while we moved and she rolled her eyes and turned her head. Stuck-up little thing - I grumpily thought. We sat down then she tossed her head, got up, and moved away for no apparent reason. Her attitude didn't bother me but I was glad that Mom had not noticed.

That little instance made me remember Mom saying that people, even her own children think that she is "peculiar" and now while I was reading the Daily Bread I thought of that day. Mom is not peculiar but she totally believes that lie. She has lived her life from that vantage point. It has colored everything she says and does and everything bad that happens to her she sees as repayment. That single day there were more "hello's" "how are you's" and smiles, even hugs than that one instance of a mad little juvenile, probably delinquent!

This reminds me that I need to check my thoughts and the lies that are tossed my way every day in the spiritual battle for my mind. Jesus Christ loves me... so much He left glory... to die! It was not a glorious death, He carried a cross of shame for me. Wow. How much He loves His Creation - me, Mom, you. Believe the words of Jesus Christ, not the Accuser telling you lies that you are peculiar or that you are worthless.

The Outcast, Our Daily Bread

Jesus answered and said to them, "This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent." John 6:29