Enjoy the Moment

Change.

This morning I have been thinking about how our lives change.

Some change takes a long time. Some change is for the good; some not so good. It can be sudden; unexpected. Unexpected like my sister's aneurysm. Unexpected, like the horrible shootings at Virginia Tech. Severe changes that cause us to cover our mouths and hold our breath.

Slow changes like winter melting into spring. Clouds floating across the sky and covering up the sunlight. Hair turning from a dark beautiful color to a shiny silver. A rock ptarmigan's feathers changing from winter white to brown. (The one pictured here was in my drive way!)

Whatever the changes, those of us that are caught up close to change also have to change. I always expected that Millie would show up here and there with her pretty smile. I have not seen that smile for months. Families and friends dealing with the 32 losses at Virginia Tech; they will have to adjust and go on with life. These are changes almost too much to bear.

I watched my children grow up and change from needing me to care for them every day to not needing me to care for them and then they now appear to be caring for me! That is a change I cherish.

The only One that does not change is God. He has remained the same down through the ages since this world was created. He has never changed.

Whatever changes Today finds you coping with, I pray that you will know God and that you will know that He alone sustains life in us and you will know that there is another power, the evil one; he prowls around the earth destroying what God has created. He uses chaos, hate, unforgiveness and whatever it takes to make a man or woman carry out his evil intentions towards fellow mankind.

The Truth is that someday, this world we know and love will all be changed; we will live forever in a world not touched by death anymore. That is God's Truth, that will not ever change!

Here is a writing by "The Message" translation of the Bible taken from the New Testament, Hebrews, Chapter One. The writing mentions the truth of how God remains the same. Read the whole chapter here.

Earth and sky will wear out, but not you; they become threadbare like an old coat; You'll fold them up like a worn-out cloak, and lay them away on the shelf. But you'll stay the same, year after year; you'll never fade, you'll never wear out.

It is refreshing to read that in this ever-changing and disturbing world we know.

I got to see Millie yesterday. She opened her left eye and appeared to be looking around. It is hard to discern if she is aware of us or her surroundings. When we move she will move her eyes to focus on us. My daughter Karla was there with me and we let her touch Raegan Mae, my newest grandbaby. When we move her left arm she resists strongly. He right arm is not so strong. She grimaces when I attempt to reposition her legs. I apologize because I know how it hurts the joints to move after remaining stationary too long. Thanks for continuing to pray for Millie. Please take time to send her an email to add to her bulletin board, if it does not register to her yet, it does to her family and encourages them the most. Thanks.

Day 114.

A Granddaughter Loved

She's a nine-year old sparkle on nimble legs.
She smiles and I will smile.
She cries and I will cry too.
She laughs and my heart beats lighter.
She goes from cousin to Aunt, Grammaloo to nephew;
We are all blessed by her loving ways.
Today, she peeked around the chair and said, "Hi Grammaloo!"
"I missed you!"
I didn't know she was coming, but now I am so happy Marie brought her home.
She loved her new cousin Raegan Mae.
She said, "Such beautiful, little, blue eyes."
"I love you Raegan Mae!"
I said, "I love you, Lexie!"
"I love you too, Grammaloo!"
She came to us nine years ago; we were all surprised - but so happy!
"We are pregnant," the newlyweds said quietly showing us the positive pregnancy test.
"OH?" I counted the days in my head and then raised my eyebrows.
Dad said, "Oh wow! That's cool you can tell so fast!"
I giggled then slapped our new son Tony with my kitchen towel.
This new little one was coming into our family and there was nothing else to do but accept that!
God blesses us in ways we never dream of being blessed!
We love our first grandbaby so much.
Thank you LORD for the blessing which fills my heart to overflowing and rolls down my cheeks at the most odd times.
I called her Mom today.
I watched our Lexie at the window and told her Mom how I loved her first baby.
We laughed then cried about the timing of Alexis.
"I am so glad you gave her to us, Kimmie."
"Thank you Mom, that is so good to hear."
I wiped my tears away so that I could watch for the 'I love you wave' as she left the driveway with her Uncle and Aunt.
I waved from the window.
God is so incredibly good.

I've been to visit Millie as often as I can. It looks like she could stretch and wake up soon, but I think her family has been saying that since Seattle.

Day 110.

Blog Sharing

I am copy and pasting the blog I wrote for my other blogs, so if you read my other blogs, this is a repeater.

Easter was anticipated so long and the little prizes for the egg hunt were hid for weeks and now the day is already over! But the memories go on. That's the way it goes in life. Anticipation. Event. Memories. Over and over.

I got to visit Mil today. She was moved to another room since she arrived in Alaska so all of her caregivers were changed too. She has a new room-mate too, Rose.

Rose has Alzheimer's (I knew I spelled that wrong at the other blogs!). I visited with her daughter for a while and learned that Rose fell down, broke her hip and was laid up for five months. Now she has forgotten how to walk.

I can't help but think about how life ends while I am at this hospital. So many there that I am sure never, ever dreamed the last of their days would be spent like Rose's days are spent.

Sometimes I see Rose sit and look at me. There is a mirror on her side of the room and sometimes I see her looking at me through the mirror too. I wonder if she is trying to remember who I am. I had never met her before entering the room with Millie the first day Mil became her room mate. So, I just smile at her. She'll give me a quick smile and a wink back, just as if she knows me.

Millie has a urinary tract infection. She also has a lot of rattle in her chest. I don't like that. BUT... she is trying to cough it up, I like that! I tell her she is doing a good job. "Cough again, Mil." She coughs and sounds like she almost wants to cry. My poor sister. She is also having a severe reaction, "Probably to her antibiotics," her nurse said to me. This has made it hard to keep up with cleaning her. So now, she has a sore too.

What a lovely thing to have friends come when you are sick and sing to you. Today Carrie H. and her daughter Emily J. stopped by and sang the "Hallelujah" song in Yupik and "Someone Is Praying For You".

If Millie didn't realize it and enjoy it, I sure did. Thank the LORD for such a gift as these two brought to Millie's room today. My heart was touched, I prayed that Millie's was too. It was refreshing to my soul to listen to Carrie pray in her quiet, gentle way. "I love you," she said to me as she got up and got ready to leave. "Tell her family that we are praying for her, especially my Mom and Dad," said Emily. So because I forgot to say it there I say it now. They are praying for you all... Millie's family.

Shortly after I arrived at the hospital room today the nurses came in and said they needed to change Millie; they needed to clean her up. I waited in the lobby for a long time! As I sat there I wondered who I would see coming to visit Millie today.

I got to see Adam and Courtney, Julia, Virginia, Carrie, Emily, Shirley M, my son Klint came in and so did Doug. I tell ya! If you want to see people you have not seen in a long time... spend a day at the side of your popular hospitalized family or friends.

I love you, Mil.

Day 106.

Drip, Drip, Drip

Here are a few pictures I just took this evening of the lake and the water all over the track the guys made. My son Kris didn't believe me when I said that I think that maybe it's not a good idea to ride out there anymore. He went out, as you can see, and he said I was right, there are places where it's open clear to the bottom! I am glad they were not big enough for him to disappear into yet! So that part of our winter is pretty much over.

It's been in the mid 40's for at least four days now. We still have a lot of snow but it's going fast. I love hearing the drip, drip, drip of spring. It's staying light so much longer now!

Been to visit with Millie many times since her return and she is improving little by little. When we move her arms and legs around a lot she will open up her eyes a bit, especially her left eye. If I sit with her long enough I get to see a lot of people I have not seen for a while since they've been dropping by to say hi to Mil. I think she needs a guest book!

...Happy Easter to all!

Wow! ...into the triple digits Mil! Day 101.

Millie in Alaska, Providence Extended Care

I went to see Millie yesterday at Providence Extended Care Center in Anchorage. It was so good to see her again. Millie moves so much more than when I saw her in Seattle. She has not woke up yet and remains in a coma. Sometimes we wonder if she is trying to respond to us.

Providence Extended Care Center is very busy and full. So many patients there. Most of us never get exposed to the many people suffering in hospitals until we have a loved one that ends up in a hospital. My heart was touched by all those sitting there.

Millie shares a room with "Carol", another patient. UPDATED: Millie's roommates name is "Gloria." I have a friend named Carol and her daughter is named Gloria, so my brain made a quick name exchange again!

You can send her email there! Email Millie!

I thank all those that visit this blog for praying for Millie to return. That is one advantage of blogging, all those that are made aware of situations in my life that take the time to pray. It is so good to have her back home in Alaska. My sister Kotya was able to see her too. Kotya was scheduled to return to her village yesterday but extended her stay a few more days after we found out Millie was FINALLY flying back home.

For those wishing to send Millie a card her new address is:
Mildred Aposik
Providence Extended Care, Rm # 146K
4900 Eagle Street
Anchorage, Alaska
99503

Providence Extended Care's PH. # - (907) 562-2281

PECC gives pet passes! How cool is that?

Visiting hours are 9 AM to 8:30 PM and my sister Kotya was told that they will discourage no one when it comes to visiting their patients. So, all are welcome to stop by and check up on Millie. You will need to sign in at the front desk when you come to visit.

During your stay at Providence Extended Care Center, we want your family and friends to continue to be a part of your life. We have found that many residents seem to adapt better to life at Extended Care when their families are involved in their daily lives. Visiting hours are from 9 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. You may visit with your guests in your room or in the lounges, lobby or courtyards. Or, invite your friend or family to bring their appetite and dine with you.

Day 96. Once again, thanks for praying.