No computers, no instant news-anytime of the day, no online friendships, no easy to access information, no cell phones, no little palm thingy's that beep at you to remind you that you better not forget your anniversary! This world is incredibly instant. With our recent traveling, it seems smaller too!
I would put up one of our wedding pictures but, in order to do a scan of an old photo, I would have to turn on my old desktop, then run the utilities on the printer, print of test copies, and then see if the scanner will still crank up for me. That is really stressing out my lazy-making instantaneous that I am so used to now! You know how it is, if the microwave cooks longer than 2 minutes... "Why is this taking so long!!!?"
Today, I decided to see what the world is saying about how to keep a marriage together long enough to be considered "an old couple that has been together so long that they are beginning to look a lot like each other!"
Ladies Home Journal a magazine I used to read a lot has stuff to say on this topic. Looking back, deepen trust, communicate [YUP! good one], fight fair [um...], defuse power struggles, respecting--accepting differences, be money smart [I agree!], make love.... "wiggles eyebrows" [yup Becky, we do... still at 52!], and team up. All good things but not why we are still together.
How about Dr. Phil? He seems to be a big relationships person...A Good Marriage... after being married for 28 years [oh wow, purdy good] heres his thoughts on what makes marriage work. "The quality of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it is built on a solid underlying friendship and meets the needs of the two people involved." [rereading that] Friendship, okay. You get what you give, win/lose..., forget whether you are right or wrong, the question is: Is what you are doing working or not working?, no right or wrong way to fix a relationship, [reads on down] Communicate! [Yeah, that's important] Make sure your sentences have verbs. Remember that only 7 percent of communication is verbal. Actions and non-verbal communication speak much louder. [I can speak without saying a word! So I agree with that non-verbal stuff] Good advice, but still not what I am looking for.
Equality In Marriage Institute... it's a closed institute, but lets check out their Partnership Tips..from the Pros archive.
The Time is Now
If you are ever going to love me,
Love me now, while I can know
The sweet and tender feelings
Which from true affection flow.
Love me now
While I am living.
Do not wait until I'm gone
And then have it chiseled in marble,
Sweet words on ice-cold stone.
If you have tender thoughts of me,
Please tell me now.
..."Kiss good-bye and hello. Throw a hug while you're at it", ..."establish a love account and make regular deposits.." [Gary Smalley said that?], "I got gaps; you got gaps; we fill each others gaps." -Rocky, Well, here is something ... Frank Pittman said, "The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent and it must be equal."
Checking Google again. Oh, "The best marriage advice I ever got", lets look at that...Redbook [raising eyebrows]. Okay, it's not there either but "Attack the issue, not each other" is very good advice for living together as peacefully as possible.
There are a lot of good words online.
The advice I have is quite close to what Frank Pittman said. I believe that marriage should permanent. Unlike Frank Pittman who believes marriages are permanent, period! (My own words.) I believe that some marriages should end because of abuse and oppression, but never for because--- "oh well, we fell out of love" or"we didn't have anything in common anymore". (I have not read any of Frank Pittman's books, I have just scanned what's being said online, forgive me if I got the wrong impression.)
I heard it once said that too many people get married, burn the bridges behind them but secretly make certain there is always a boat anchored out in the bay. I say, burn the boat too! Once I say "I do" I have no business messing with little boats that are anchored out in the bay no matter how tempting they may be to sail away. It will always be with another person that you have to learn how to love no matter what anyway!
Dougie, I love you... no matter what. I don't want to climb into any boats out in the bay--so make sure this one does not get any leaks!
Slathering on the tar.... Happy 33rd Anniversary, my sweet, sweet man.