Monday, September 08, 2008

Marriage Monday-Why Romance Matters

Picture is of Doug and I before we got married.

It's Marriage Monday with e-Mom today. Join us for this months topic "Why Romance Matters."

Consider writing about your favorite restaurant, your favorite song, or the little things you do for one another throughout the week. What tones down the tension, and tunes up the tenderness? How do you encourage your husband to nurture the romantic side of your marriage? I want to know! C H R Y S A L I S

Doug is my fantastic husband and if you've been reading along at my blog you have probably already picked that up. Doug is a man of integrity, hard-working, a great Dad and Grandpa that is loved, conscientious in all aspects of married life and work, dedicated to our family, loves God with his whole heart - but I've noticed that he needs some help in the romance department!

When I was young.. that was a problem. Because when I was young I did not value the more important character traits my husband was developing as a married man! As time happened I realized, oh my word... what a splendid husband my God has blessed me with!

With time, I have valued my relationship with Doug above others and found that I must work to protect it from ruin. Previously, at times I became disgruntled and ungrateful and began to keep track of those things that were not in our marriage such as... romance! Long walks on beaches, lingering glances over candlelit dinners, quiet moments alone, etc., etc., while they can be fun the other more important aspects of marriage should be valued more than those movie-style romantic encounters.

What ever in the world is romance anyway? My idea of romance (and it's absence in our marriage) was triggered by the worlds movies; TV shows; even advertisements. Those ideas did not build up our relationship but made me feel like something was missing in it. Romance is elusive and when I think we have something like romance it just makes me giggle and feel silly.

There was a time in our relationship when Doug and I seemed to co-exist. Do we all go through such times as that? I believe we both took our marriage for granted, and we did not realized it needs to be protected. We both did things that jeopardized our continuing marriage relationship. In my own case, and without realizing the consequences of developing my own friendships, my faithfulness was tested. The evil one works to destroy all that God has called good. He called our marriage good and the evil one worked hard to destroy it while I made relationships outside of my marriage too important. I am happy today to say that both Doug and I realize the value of each other and our marriage relationship. I am thankful and grateful that God protected us from evil - when we needed to be protected.

My advise today is that we, as couples, must value the relationship we have with each other above the silly notions of romance. There is nothing better away from each other, there is just more of the same. We need to keep on building on what attracted us to each other and made us get married in the first place. And there are more important things in a relationship than romance.

Yes, romance does matter, and a bit of it can bring happiness... but we also need to examine what we think is romance and whether or not we are letting this notion interfere with the wonderful marriage we may already be blessed with!

I've helped my husband with romance by buying roses for myself and then telling him what a wonderful guy he is to think of buying me roses! He loves it. He says that I make him look so good! Then we have a good laugh together and I get to enjoy the beautiful roses while they last. When our children see the roses and ask, "Who are the roses for and for what?" For me, just because... from Dad." They giggle and say, "Ahhhh Dad, how romantic!"

This week... he brought roses home for me all on his own, for no reason at all!

That is romance, isn't it? I love you, Doug.

I also love the verses that e-Mom posted and post them now again for you.
"There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a maiden." Prov 30:18-19


Denise said...

Beautiful post, bless you for sharing.

Faith said...

Thanks for coming by my blog!
BUT....your post is waaaayyyy better than mine. This was just awesome!!

I love where you said where we need to think about just what romance is. I totally agree....that's why the things I listed don't seem "romantic" to the world but to dave and I they are!

I also love those Prov. verses. We had those printed on the back of our wedding program along with several other verses or godly marriage quotes.
God Bless you!

Amydeanne said...

great points, my hubby was the opposite.. great at romancing me in the beginning, but now we really need to work on it!
God Bless!

Marie VW said...

Ahhhh Dad! How romantic!!

Angela @ Refresh My Soul Blog said...

Great post. We are all different and it is interesting to me to see how God paired each one up.

e-Mom said...

I've bought flowers for myself too, and then given him the credit... it was his money! He's fine with that. :~D

One marriage counselor recommends leaving out empty vases...

Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today, Connie Marie.

e-Mom :~D

Anonymous said...

I love the end! Good for your husband. Sometimes do need a little push in the right direction but then you never know when they just might do it all by themselves!!

Lynn said...


My advise today is that we, as couples, must value the relationship we have with each other above the silly notions of romance.... Connie, this was so well written and so wise. It was a gift to stop here and read this. I wish we neighbors. We would spend a lot of time together. Congrats on your anniversary 35 years.

I hope every young woman in blogland stops in for this post. Hugs, Lynn

Lori said...

I really enjoyed reading your post this morning. I loved seeing your picture from yesrs ago.

Way to go! 35 Years.


Jettie said...

OOHH I can see how much your love means to you!! I lvoe it!! Everyday life does get in the way and I just always keep in mind just how much Grizzly means to me and our kids!!
Beautiful picture beautiful post!!!