Sunday, March 02, 2008

Marriage Monday - Is Divorce Ever Right?


Marriage Monday's

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I just had to smile when one of our pastors at our church spoke on this topic today. (Mark 10)

My contribution to this MM topic:

Is it ever right to worship another God? Is it ever right to serve idols? Is it ever right not to rest on the Sabbath? Is it ever right to lie? Is it ever right to kill? Is it ever right to use God's name in a curse? Is it ever right to dishonor my parents? Is it ever right to lust after my neighbors spouse? Is it ever right to be jealous of what my neighbor owns? Is it ever right to covet?

"Is divorce ever right?"

No.

It's a sad reality - that some find themselves in a situation where daily living can be harmful to their well-being and or their children. Even worse to have that in a place that should be a sanctuary from our hurting world - marriage. In these situations, I think that it's not right to divorce - but it is very necessary.

If divorce can be avoided, divorce should be avoided.

While I've been watering my houseplants that have gone without water too long they remind me of hearts that are hard, and cold and unmoving. How they got there could be an answer to how the troubles can be fixed. Just like my houseplant that has not been watered and now it's soil is hard and resistant to life-giving watering's, with tender loving care the soil can be softened by small and frequent watering's so that the roots of the plant can again absorb the life-giving liquid. At first, the soil resists the watering's and the water runs over, around the soil and out the bottom of the container. If the watering's stop at that point then the plant continues to die. But if I go repeatedly to pour in a little water and then let it sit at the top of the soil, soon it begins to soften and soak in. It's the same with most cold and seemingly lost relationships.

Gentle, frequent attention would do a lot for a dying marriage.

14 comments:

Jettied said...

so rightly worded!! But yes sometimes it has to be!!
And some don't have the ability to just stop what they are doing to see all thats been done!!

Robyn said...

I absolutely love the plant analogy. It is so true. Something that is hardened resists being cared for at first. But after a little softening, we're receptive.

Great job! I might have to steal that analogy sometime!! :)

Constance said...

Coming from a broken home myself and having been divorced twice, I know the awful effects it has on a family! Praise God for his loving kindness and unending mercy!

I loved the analogy of watering plants. I also am reminded that as in plant wrangling (this what I do, I hardly have a green thumb) we have to prune our plants. We take off the dead stuff and clip it back. In marriage we have to take off the bad attitudes which are dead stuff to a marriage. We have to clip and prune away at ourselves which is to ensure a healthier overall plant/marriage.
Have a blessed week!
Connie

KFJ said...

I agree! I think lack of communication is the biggest problem in a dying marriage.

Ann Marie said...

I was brought up Catholic and am very well aware after 13 years of private catholic school what Christians belive in in terms of divorce. I've also always had the feeling that when it came to god and us, there were not absolutes. I mean isn't that the point? Isn't that why we were given free will and we were are created differently, if you believe in that sort of thing. I work for www.firstwivesworld.com, it is an online community for women navigating through the various stages of divorce and life thereafter and I have to say I love my job. I love that I am a part of something greater than myself and that I am contributing, however minimally, to the health and well being of others. Marriage is not easy and does require work I understand that, but when it comes down to it, I think that being miserable for the sake of sustaining your marriage is a waste of the gift of life that we have been given. I am so very proud to be helping these women, and we really are. Check out the website and read some of our blogs and comments, it is very moving.
www.firstwivesworld.com
Just my two cents
Ann Marie

the160acrewoods said...

what a great post. i love the flower analogy

Faith said...

We all need to extend grace, mercy and forgiveness. So many people, Christians included, are not willing to do that! Great post! I really liked the comparison with your plants!

e-Mom said...

I love this analogy... the unwatered plant. Yes, a relationship that has soured, or a heart that is hard often can slowly and tenderly be nurtured back to health. Wonderful wisdom, as always!

Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today, Connie Marie.

e-Mom said...

P.S. I've added another link to this post in Mister Linky, since it seems that your first link takes visitors to another post. I hope that's OK. :~D

Karen said...

I am blessed to be in a wonderful marriage, it is God's gift in my life and I treasure it and nurture it, and want to make sure it is well watered. But you know what, my first marriage ended in divorce. Was it right? No. But it happened. He left me a few times and I remember being 26 and feeling my life was over. Enter then the wonderful grace of God in my life, undeserved. I had no intentions of marrying again ever. My Christian Mum said I would be sinning against God if I ever did and she would not come to my wedding if I did marry again, and she did not. She sees now what a blessing my husband is, so no hard feelings. So having been through some of that stuff I have a real heart for those going through things and on the other side I am incredibly grateful and valuing of this wonderful second marriage.

Tonya said...

I also enjoyed the analogy of taking care of plants. I know there are at least 2 times divorce is permitted in the Bible. (And still, GOD says HE HATES it) I don't condemn those who've already gone through divorce, but I'd STRONGLY recommend that anyone in the middle or considering it to think TWICE. GOD'S way is best even when we're miserable in the meantime. Marriage was a choice and a covenant made not only with our husbands, but also with GOD. If we follow GOD'S prescribed plan for marriage to a "T" then we can ABSOLUTELY expect our love to "bloom!" =-)

jennifer said...

This was heart-felt and well thought out. I hope that I never have to deal with divorce personally!!! Jennifer

Angela @ Refresh My Soul Blog said...

I love the picture you painted of the plant being dry. That is a great way to think about it.
Blessings,
Angela

Jan Parrish said...

Beautifully said. I like the comparison to all the other sins. Divorce is no worse - even though we as humans tend to *go there* and create levels of sin. Excellent post. :)