Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Marriage Monday - Submission

Submission, is it a dirty word?

Submission in the Christian family structure is beautiful. Submission cannot be a dirty word in a Christian setting. I have read the passage in Ephesians and love the word picture of Christ loving the church, us. If all relationships were filled with the Holy Spirit, it is not a difficult thing for a woman to be submissive towards her Christian husband or even another Christian. To submit in such a loving relationship is like watching the give and take of a windmill in the wind; the sand sliding on the beach, ever changing, but remaining the same as the ocean rolls; the clouds dancing to the highs and lows of the atmosphere; a flock of chattering birds following the edge of the lake; a well-trained dog on a leash. Beautiful. It is no wonder that we are encouraged to do so. When done properly it is like poetry and what a testimony to the Savior that we know.

Hupotasso --- hoop-ot-as-so the Greek word for submission --in an ungodly situation ---ends up with a woman jumping through hoops for an a*****e! Excuse the awful word-picture definition - but that is exactly what I imagined when my lips formed the pronunciation that e-Mom has posted on her Marriage Monday blog. Perhaps I have seen one too many times where a Christian woman has married an ungodly man that I have to say - in this place - that woman will have a horrible life as she jumps through hoops trying to please him with his ungodly demands, his ungodly ways.

Christ and the Church and submission. This truth - lived out vividly for me through the husband I have been so blessed to know and love for 34 years. He is the one that taught me - he should love me like Christ has loved the church. "Christ died for the church," he's said so many times. (Many times I have probably made him feel like he was dying too! Sorry Husband.)

We, as the Church, submit to Christ. Christ loves us and it's not difficult to say yes to Him. I, as Doug's wife, submit to him. Doug does not demand me to submit. He does not ask me to submit to him by doing stuff for him, or to have dinner prepared and hot for him when he gets home from work. He does not ask of me anything - but I do like to do things for him that I think that it would make his day great. It is the same as when we want to do the things that please Jesus Christ. There have been situations when my heart said... be quiet, listen to him, he has the final word. You know what? I totally trust that his decisions will be best for me, because he loves me! I see that submission can be a rest to me by leaving those decisions in his hands.

My heart aches for the Christian woman who has found herself in a situation where to submit will include continuing physical and emotional abuses, not only towards herself but also her children. These women have, either knowingly or blindly believing themselves to be loved, married an ungodly man. In these situations, submission is a "dirty word." Why? Because this woman's life will include submitting to the dirty things of this world which her husband has not given up.

I don't believe a Christian woman has to stay with an ungodly man - but that could possibly be another subject for another Marriage Monday.

Check out the other Marriage Monday Blogger's that have posted blogs on submission by going HERE.

11 comments:

Constance said...

Like you, I am blessed to be married to my wonderful, Godly husband. It wasn't always a blessing becasue being human and all, I had a real problem with submission. You're right though, when we are conforming to Christ's commands about submission it is a beautiful thing. What woman wouldn't move heaven & earth to be loved and cherished the way Christ calls our men to behave towards us! Marriage was intended to complete man and it's one more example of how satan has taken something good and beautiful and distorted it into something that causes such anguish for some!
Connie

Connie Marie said...

Hi BBF.

You are a very independent woman (I can tell from all that you do with your life). This is a blessing too. For someone like myself - who most times finds it easier to wilt in difficult situations and to step aside to let the stronger have control, submission has not been as big a deal as some have found. Even so, I have found myself struggling and resisting what my husband thought to be the right way in a situation.

I am happy us, we have husbands that loves Christ, it makes a big difference our daily worlds! If that doesn't cause some other woman's man to lead in a loving and gentle way that man should reevaluate his walk with the Lord.

I hope you have a beautiful day. :-)

e-Mom said...

You've written an exquisite piece, Connie Marie. Thank you for joining us for Marriage Monday.

These words of yours were particularly eloquent: To submit in such a loving relationship is like watching the give and take of a windmill in the wind; the sand sliding on the beach, ever changing, but remaining the same as the ocean rolls; the clouds dancing to the highs and lows of the atmosphere; a flock of chattering birds following the edge of the lake; a well-trained dog on a leash. Beautiful. It is no wonder that we are encouraged to do so. When done properly it is like poetry and what a testimony to the Savior that we know. You've painted some powerful images!

Praise God that you know the truth, and the truth has set you free.

Have a blessed day. Big hugs, e-Mom :~)

Connie Marie said...

Thank you, e-Mom. HUGs

Jan Parrish said...

A woman who is in an abusive relationship, owes it to herself and her children to go somewhere safe.

It is not part of God's design for her to continually submit to abuse. I believe this is where the enemy has taken a foothold and warped minds in regards to submission. She may feel led to pray and work on the marriage, attempting to reconcile while she is and her children are safely out of harms way. If someone reading this is in an abusive relationship, please seek help from a church or shelter. God can work miracles and heal these situations. But first, go somewhere safe.

I enjoyed your post. I just wanted to clarify this issue in case anyone was confused. I've worked with abused women for several years and many think that they are unsubmissive if they seek help. God's design for submission includes the husband submitting to God authority and God does not condone abuse in any way.

Living Beyond said...

Hi Connie,

Wow thank you for your thought provoking thoughts on submission in abusive situations.

I hear your heart - you know the truth but then the reality can be hard to get through.

I have a friend who was married for amny years to an unbelieving abusive man. Not physically abusive, but emotionally in that he had affairs while she was home with the children. She stayed with him for many years b/c she truly believed that was what God wanted. Many years later he gave his life to the Lord and was a changed man. Every time he gives his testimony he talks about his wife and what she put up with and how that ministered to him.

Amazing hey! There was a lady sensitive to the Spirit. But I think it is an individual case by case thing that I am sure the Lord leads a person through.

Thanks for your thoughts!

Joyce said...

Connie Marie,
Thank you for stopping and making comment on my blog. Your word picture is wonderful and I am understandy more as I read other blogs as you have sugested. (forgive mispelling) I am still learning and hope to get it right someday.

Jan Parrish said...

I agree that each case is individual.This is a very good discussion and I will be talking about it in December on my blog.

I also agree that many are too quick to write off their marriages. I applaud your friend for hearing from God and choosing to stay.

Joy said...

Wow! That was a wonderful peice that you wrote yesterday. Complete submission to my husband is one of my struggles. It is one that with God I know I can overcome. Thank you for sharing that.
Joy
ps Keep up the WONDERFUL photo's

Connie Marie said...

Thanks to all of you Ladies for commenting on my Marriage Monday blog. I have learned by reading what other bloggers submitted too - their thoughts on this topic changed my heart.

Thanks e-Mom for hosting, as Martha Stewart says -- "it is a very good thing."

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