It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
A normal person. Is there such a thing?
We are all so different. What is the standard that we are going to compare ourselves to? Everyone has their own set of rules, said or unsaid. Everyone has a conscience, more or less, depending on how much of it we have either buried or allowed to rule our lives. This affects our choices every day. Our choices, good or bad, shape us to become who we are.
I have allowed my passions, emotions, wants or stubborn will to selfishly shove aside my conscience before. Then there are times that my conscience is so strong that I can't do things I thought I wanted to do.
I am thankful for the gift of the Holy Spirit who came to reside in my heart when I believed the Bible story of Jesus Christ. I am thankful that God knew that I needed the Holy Spirit to teach me, comfort me, lead me into the Way everlasting. So much potential for a beautiful relationship when I am willing. He is sure Helper "in time of need."
Today is my son Kristopher David's birthday. He is already
23 24. He is our baby boy. I used to call him our "bonus boy" because we had Klinton, then I began to lose weight and start planning a life of no more babies. I am being painfully truthful when I share that I did not want to be pregnant ever again. I was so disappointed when I found out that the two-week flu I thought I was having was actually our Kris.
I carried my son up to ten weeks in an angry depression. I did not even listen to my conscience when it advised me that this was not right. When the Holy Spirit suggested that this was a blessing, I did not want to hear.
At ten weeks along Dr. Werner ordered a sonogram because, as always and after already having twins, I was carrying much larger than I should have been for the weeks that I knew that I was. So they looked to see if there were twins in there.
I had never been able to see the previous babies I had in those sonogram pictures. That day I turned my head and watched. Surprisingly, I saw plainly, Kristopher's small body! His arms, his legs, everything! Tears trickled down my cheek as I laid there quietly and kept watching. Just before the sonogram was over, Kris' little hands came up (at ten weeks!) and he appeared to clap his hands together!
I knew that was just for me - from God.
He is an incredible God and we love so much our Kris that He gave to us. Without Kris here we would not have experienced his loud, happy, singing character in our young family. He used to go all over the house tapping on things with either a stick or a spoon or what ever he had in his hands and singing and annoying his older siblings.
One day he was supposed to be doing the dishes in the kitchen, I was probably crocheting in the living room when I stopped to listen to him.
Tap, tap, tap, BANG! Bang, bang, ratta-tap-tap! I said, "KRIS IS A DRUMMER!"
He does have a set of drums that he plays. He does really good and without having any lessons! He is a natural-born, drumming, gift from God. I am so happy we have him.
After four kids already, maybe I reacted "normally" to the news of another baby on the way, but my conscience and my LORD told me I was wrong. If I carried this ugly side of me as far as to totally wipe out their prodding, I could have even had a selfish abortion. Kris' influence in our lives would have been wiped out forever. I know that I would have suffered an even greater depression and would surely have missed out on such a BLESSING!
So, listen to your own God-given conscience and if you are gifted with the Holy Spirit, listen to Him. God knows what is normal, He made us! Who better than Him will teach us how to live?
It's been 168 days since Mil went to the hospital. Come back to us Millie!